Sunday, October 18, 2009
thoughts on LOVE!
So anyone who knows me well knows that I am always talking about being "in love" though I have never personally experienced it. I know what it is to love a friend. to love family. and to love God. I've heard about "being in love," but I really don't know what that means. I know what love feels like I think. Sometimes I close my eyes and I envision it...this abstract warm and fuzzy thing. Yet still, I don't know if I am capable of giving it. This sounds selfish I know. But is really possible to love someone else nearly as much as you love yourself?! I can only imagine loving the kids I bear that way. Actually, I imagine loving them more.... Maybe loving a man is a foriegn concept to me. Maybe I have not met "him" yet. Or maybe, but hopefully not, I am truly incapable of love. But then again, I haven't encountered anyone worth falling in love with... So I will just continue to wait patiently and see where this journey of life takes me.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Frienamies?!?!
Have you ever heard the saying "Keep your friends close and your enemies even closer!" Well I consider myself a very positive person and I can say that I really don't have enemies that I know of. However, what I have as of late are tons of "Frienamies."
DEFINITION of a "Frienamie":
Some one who pretends to be on your side but is silently & sometimes proactively rooting for you to fail!!!!
Im sure I have always had a few of them, but they have only currently manifested.
What makes a "Frienamie" manifest?
Your success!!!! If you have these people, that means you MUST be doing something right! I have never understood this type of energy. It still perplexes me simply because I am ALWAYS rooting for others to succeed. But my interaction with these people recently has opened my eyes to the ugliness that resides in some human spirits.
What is the cure for a "Frienamie?"
Ignoring them in person and praying for them in private. Only deeply-rooted insecurities and jealousy can lead such an outwardly showing of dislike for your fellow man. And especially if you have been nothing but nice to these people, only Jesus can help them!!!!
Advice for the receptor of a "Frienamie":
Some will call you naive, but continue to do the right thing. The reality is that either you've already won the battle or more than likely it was never a competition to begin with, thus the manifestation of blatant hateration.
Advice for the Frienamies:
Get a Life! The fact that you kill the joy of someone else is not going to give you your own! Work on being happy with yourself and not deflecting you negative energy on to others.
DEFINITION of a "Frienamie":
Some one who pretends to be on your side but is silently & sometimes proactively rooting for you to fail!!!!
Im sure I have always had a few of them, but they have only currently manifested.
What makes a "Frienamie" manifest?
Your success!!!! If you have these people, that means you MUST be doing something right! I have never understood this type of energy. It still perplexes me simply because I am ALWAYS rooting for others to succeed. But my interaction with these people recently has opened my eyes to the ugliness that resides in some human spirits.
What is the cure for a "Frienamie?"
Ignoring them in person and praying for them in private. Only deeply-rooted insecurities and jealousy can lead such an outwardly showing of dislike for your fellow man. And especially if you have been nothing but nice to these people, only Jesus can help them!!!!
Advice for the receptor of a "Frienamie":
Some will call you naive, but continue to do the right thing. The reality is that either you've already won the battle or more than likely it was never a competition to begin with, thus the manifestation of blatant hateration.
Advice for the Frienamies:
Get a Life! The fact that you kill the joy of someone else is not going to give you your own! Work on being happy with yourself and not deflecting you negative energy on to others.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
"A Happening Life!"
Hello Friends!
Sorry I haven't blogged in awhile, but school just started again and I have been getting back into the swing of things! Over the past few weeks, life has continued to happen and I have a few things to share.
First of all, I have been exceptionally happy lately. I think it is because I have set obtainable goals for myself this semester. Also, I have internalized the importance of discipline. Its so hard to take a switch to yourself, but sometimes you just have to. You have to say "Self, get it together!" And I have been grabbing myself by the shoulders all summer, and shaking myself to snap out of what ever daze I was in. I have finally taken the first step towards making things happen in my life opposed to letting life just happen to me! Very big difference.
I think we underestimate the power or speaking into the existence certain things into our lives. If there is something that we really want, and it is in line with our Godly purpose, I cannot fathom any reason in the world that we cannot have it! I have been saying all summer I wanted to get a 4.0 this semester, and I know that I can do it. This is where my personal disciple comes in. Some may say, this is a pretty big goal, but in my eyes that makes it all the more obtainable. slight oxymoron, but life is full of these. Who are we to doubt Philippians 4:13?!?!
World, go get your personal 4.0!
Sorry I haven't blogged in awhile, but school just started again and I have been getting back into the swing of things! Over the past few weeks, life has continued to happen and I have a few things to share.
First of all, I have been exceptionally happy lately. I think it is because I have set obtainable goals for myself this semester. Also, I have internalized the importance of discipline. Its so hard to take a switch to yourself, but sometimes you just have to. You have to say "Self, get it together!" And I have been grabbing myself by the shoulders all summer, and shaking myself to snap out of what ever daze I was in. I have finally taken the first step towards making things happen in my life opposed to letting life just happen to me! Very big difference.
I think we underestimate the power or speaking into the existence certain things into our lives. If there is something that we really want, and it is in line with our Godly purpose, I cannot fathom any reason in the world that we cannot have it! I have been saying all summer I wanted to get a 4.0 this semester, and I know that I can do it. This is where my personal disciple comes in. Some may say, this is a pretty big goal, but in my eyes that makes it all the more obtainable. slight oxymoron, but life is full of these. Who are we to doubt Philippians 4:13?!?!
World, go get your personal 4.0!
Friday, August 14, 2009
Pics from things mentioned in Past Blogs!
This is a Picture from the "date" I went on recently mentioned in "Another Piss-Poor Performance." This is the remainder of my failed flat- iron attempt from a few days before + a bantu-knot out!
This is a pic of me at the Mexican Restaurant mention in "A Natural No-No!" The swelling had already began!Fall Challenge
Okay Ladies & Gents!!!!
I have a fall challenge for you. Living a healthy life is crucial to living a happy life. We only get one body this life time, and the condition that we keep it in not only can influence our life span but our emotional state and energy level! Making changes in our lifestyle isn't always easy, but when you do the cost/benefit analysis, this will be an offer too hard to turn down!
I am challenging you to lifestyle change! Only you can decide what is best for you, but I will use this blog as a window to allow you to look into my personal transformations. In my opinion, there are five key areas that will mold you into the best you:
1. Healthy Eating Habits
2. Exercising Regularly
3.Sleep
4. Personal Treats
5. Spirituality
#1- How you eat affects you energy level, how well you function, your physical appearance, and so much more. If you don't want to feel or function like a burger, don't eat one every day! Don't get me wrong, I love burgers just as much as the next girl. I just do not eat them often. I've replaced my once burger addiction with healthy alternatives like asparagus, broccoli, green beans, fruit, etc. If I desire meat, I stick with the lean meats like turkey or fish.
#2-Exercise. The challenge for us all. It was so much easier to stay in shape when I was a cheerleader and was required to work out every day at 5am or when I played basketball and did suicides until my legs wanted to fall off. Now, it seems like it is so hard to find time to go to the gym or take a walk. My best friend dropped some knowledge on me. She said usually we set unrealistic goals of things that we know that we cannot achieve or are just not achievable at the point we are at currently in life. Set small goals and work your way up to larger ones. For example, do not start with the goal of going to the gym 7 days a week, because the first day you don't make it, you will feel like you failed yourself. Once you are off schedule, you will say to yourself "Well, I'm already off schedule. I'll start back next week." Before you know it, next week will be next month or not at all. Instead set a realistic goal of going 2 or 3 times a week. This way you allow yourself some wiggle room. If you happen to go four times one week, you will exceed your goal. You will be putting a penny in instead of taken a penny out!
If there is no gym nearby, there are simple ways you can increase your daily physical activity. Swimming, taking the stairs, playing tennis or basketball, home videos, etc. Pick what works for you and stick to it!
#3-Sleep is imperative. Lack of sleep affects your attitude, the way you look, your bodies ability to fight of sicknesses. If you have seen my sleep deprivation video, you know I am in need of a lifestyle change. My plan for this school year is to go to bed every day at 10 am. This way I can get an early start around 6 am. This will ensure me 8 hours of sleep each night!
#4- Personal Treats- Treat yourself each week to something you like! This will kill those cravings if it has already been satiated once already. I have a thing for ice cream. So once every other week, I plan to go to Sonics or an ice cream joint and treat myself to my love! Go out to a nice dinner...what ever you personally like to do! This is a pay off to yourself for all the hard work you will have done!
#5- Although we all may not agree on what is out there, I think we all feel like there is something out there greater than us. Personally, mine is the Lord. I know that I need him and without him there is no success for me. Tap into your positive source.
Lastly, as I blog about my journey, leave comments about your personal journey. Let's lift each other up! The road won't be easy, but it's a journey worth taking!
I have a fall challenge for you. Living a healthy life is crucial to living a happy life. We only get one body this life time, and the condition that we keep it in not only can influence our life span but our emotional state and energy level! Making changes in our lifestyle isn't always easy, but when you do the cost/benefit analysis, this will be an offer too hard to turn down!
I am challenging you to lifestyle change! Only you can decide what is best for you, but I will use this blog as a window to allow you to look into my personal transformations. In my opinion, there are five key areas that will mold you into the best you:
1. Healthy Eating Habits
2. Exercising Regularly
3.Sleep
4. Personal Treats
5. Spirituality
#1- How you eat affects you energy level, how well you function, your physical appearance, and so much more. If you don't want to feel or function like a burger, don't eat one every day! Don't get me wrong, I love burgers just as much as the next girl. I just do not eat them often. I've replaced my once burger addiction with healthy alternatives like asparagus, broccoli, green beans, fruit, etc. If I desire meat, I stick with the lean meats like turkey or fish.
#2-Exercise. The challenge for us all. It was so much easier to stay in shape when I was a cheerleader and was required to work out every day at 5am or when I played basketball and did suicides until my legs wanted to fall off. Now, it seems like it is so hard to find time to go to the gym or take a walk. My best friend dropped some knowledge on me. She said usually we set unrealistic goals of things that we know that we cannot achieve or are just not achievable at the point we are at currently in life. Set small goals and work your way up to larger ones. For example, do not start with the goal of going to the gym 7 days a week, because the first day you don't make it, you will feel like you failed yourself. Once you are off schedule, you will say to yourself "Well, I'm already off schedule. I'll start back next week." Before you know it, next week will be next month or not at all. Instead set a realistic goal of going 2 or 3 times a week. This way you allow yourself some wiggle room. If you happen to go four times one week, you will exceed your goal. You will be putting a penny in instead of taken a penny out!
If there is no gym nearby, there are simple ways you can increase your daily physical activity. Swimming, taking the stairs, playing tennis or basketball, home videos, etc. Pick what works for you and stick to it!
#3-Sleep is imperative. Lack of sleep affects your attitude, the way you look, your bodies ability to fight of sicknesses. If you have seen my sleep deprivation video, you know I am in need of a lifestyle change. My plan for this school year is to go to bed every day at 10 am. This way I can get an early start around 6 am. This will ensure me 8 hours of sleep each night!
#4- Personal Treats- Treat yourself each week to something you like! This will kill those cravings if it has already been satiated once already. I have a thing for ice cream. So once every other week, I plan to go to Sonics or an ice cream joint and treat myself to my love! Go out to a nice dinner...what ever you personally like to do! This is a pay off to yourself for all the hard work you will have done!
#5- Although we all may not agree on what is out there, I think we all feel like there is something out there greater than us. Personally, mine is the Lord. I know that I need him and without him there is no success for me. Tap into your positive source.
Lastly, as I blog about my journey, leave comments about your personal journey. Let's lift each other up! The road won't be easy, but it's a journey worth taking!
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
The Hidden Secret=]
I have fallen in love with something new that I think every woman should have at least one of. It transforms your body in ways you cannot even imagine. It smooths out those problem areas whether it love handles, jello or jam, cellulite, or the infamous genetically inherited pooch (my blessing). I'm sure that little bulge will come in handy one day as a comfy pillow for my future babies that will reside in there. However, as of right now, it is NOT my friend. It rears its ugly little head in almost every outfit and I have had enough. Crunches don't help and neither does dieting. I finally have came to the realization that I and the pooch are one, and I should embrace it!
It feels like since about the age of 12, my mother has been trying to force me into a girdle. And I thought "Good Lord Mother! I'm 12!" A little exaggeration on my part but not much=] So now that time has come, that I have really developed into a woman. Everyday I look in the mirror, and I'm like "OMG where did that come from?!" I think I was athletically skinny most of my life and then one day I woke up and I was FULLY developed! No complaints on my behalf, I just wish I didn't have my pooch.
Being a cheerleader and knowing a lot of professional cheerleaders and models has shined a bright light on my head. Almost ALL of these women have a modern day girdle, a Spanx or some other brand of body shaper. I had very ignorant thoughts about them, but now I have been liberated. All types of women wear them, and I have been missing OUT, hunny! I don't wear this thing everyday, just on days where I will be wearing something a little clingy or form fitting. It really is NOT a girdle and it does not alter your body, it just smooths out your curves so your clothes can fit neatly. If you do not have one, I encourage you to do so!
It feels like since about the age of 12, my mother has been trying to force me into a girdle. And I thought "Good Lord Mother! I'm 12!" A little exaggeration on my part but not much=] So now that time has come, that I have really developed into a woman. Everyday I look in the mirror, and I'm like "OMG where did that come from?!" I think I was athletically skinny most of my life and then one day I woke up and I was FULLY developed! No complaints on my behalf, I just wish I didn't have my pooch.
Being a cheerleader and knowing a lot of professional cheerleaders and models has shined a bright light on my head. Almost ALL of these women have a modern day girdle, a Spanx or some other brand of body shaper. I had very ignorant thoughts about them, but now I have been liberated. All types of women wear them, and I have been missing OUT, hunny! I don't wear this thing everyday, just on days where I will be wearing something a little clingy or form fitting. It really is NOT a girdle and it does not alter your body, it just smooths out your curves so your clothes can fit neatly. If you do not have one, I encourage you to do so!
Monday, August 10, 2009
Lemons=Lemonade
This morning my chi is up='] I'm not talking about my flat iron, but my energy level and the positive vibes I feel within my spirit. This morning I woke up on the right side of the bed. My question to you is "Why don't we always wake up on the right side of the bed?" What is holding us back from supreme happiness every day. It isn't a bad hair or a lack of sleep. Today I'm experiencing both. LOL. But I still feel good and I still look great to me=]
I think what is the ultimate deciding factor of if you are having a good or bad day from the moment you wake up is how you feel about yourself and how you approach life. The truth is nothing ever goes completely as planned in life, but we have to learn to roll with the punches! I'm rolling with a punch already today. I decide to do a Bantu knot-out today, but I made the knots too large and my curls came out too loose. So, realizing that crying was not the answer, I decided to roll with my punch and do a pin-up.. And I look darn cute if I do say so myself=] I'm just grateful for another beautiful day and day of life.
How about you?
Saturday, August 8, 2009
A Natural No-No!
Before & After
Sooooo.... I had my first natural hair disaster. But I must say, I set myself up for it. This past Friday, I went out with my girls for a night out on the town "Whoo-Hooo", ya know! I even left work a smidgen early so I could have time to get it together. lol. I decided I was going to wear my "getum' girl" green dress that I stole from my line sister. hahah=]So, I came home b/c I needed to nair n do my hair! lol Got home, fed n walked the dog. Tried to take a nap but my 2 wasn't having it. So since she would not let me sleep in peace (kept calling), I decided to get up and start getting ready. I cannot TELL you how hard I worked on my head. I flat ironed the first section & thought, "wow this is going to be cute!" I kid you not, by the time I started the third section, the first one had began to turn into a mini-fro. I thought "maybe the flat iron wasn't ready yet when I did that section." So I proceeded to redo that section and the next and the next until I had literally flat ironed my whole head FOUR times. Finally, I looked decent. I proceeded to do a silk wrap (see link below on how to do)and moved on to phase two, nairing. Once I got out the shower and dressed, I attempted to unwrap my hair and it looked like I hadnt spent 3 hours already doing my head. I wanted to cry. I bumped the ends again and left since I was already 45 minutes late.
Mexican is always a great start of the evening. I walked in and all I could think was you betta gettum girl!!! I was working it OUT, hunny! Before I could get my foot in the door good this man said "can I buy you some beers?" For those of you that missed that, he said some beers not a beer. lol But anyone who knows me knows I'm a wine girl, so I sashayed' off! Idk why, but it was hot in that casa, and I said "O lord, I can feel it swelling!" I asked my girls does my hair look okay, and they were like yea, your straight!" We eat and we leave. We arrive at the club, and there was a line. I said if the Mexican restaurant didn't get me, this humidity is. I thought "Lord, spare me!" He allowed the line to move smoothly. I "said thank you lord! " BUT as soon as I hit the door.... i said as SOOON as I hit the door, I knew at that very moment that it was over for my homemade press!
When I tell you if felt like we had just entered hell, it did. I really wanted to cry now. Every five minutes I asked my friends, "is my hair okay.... no seriously is it okay?" They said "It's fine!" One of them had the nerve to say "It looks like its getting smaller!" Well luckily, the party was LAME bc it was severely over populated, and we left before 1am. On the way out of the club it was well lit and I kept running into people I knew and they all kept looking at me like I had something on my face but they didn't want to tell me. Shortly after passing through a plethora of future baby daddy's, I had the good fortune to pass by a mirror! I stood there in shock. I literally looked like I had been ELECTROCUTED! I looked like i had been as the commercial goes " fried, dyed, and blowdried...been through years of wear and tear. Ooh GIRL WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR HAIR?!?!?" I said OMG, get me out of here! I was so embarrassed, I actually thought about getting a perm. ha!
Everyday isnt going to be easy. I might have looked a mess last night with my natural, but I can remember PLENTY of days of looking a mess with my perm. However, one thing is for sure. straight hair is a big NO-NO for the club!
Mexican is always a great start of the evening. I walked in and all I could think was you betta gettum girl!!! I was working it OUT, hunny! Before I could get my foot in the door good this man said "can I buy you some beers?" For those of you that missed that, he said some beers not a beer. lol But anyone who knows me knows I'm a wine girl, so I sashayed' off! Idk why, but it was hot in that casa, and I said "O lord, I can feel it swelling!" I asked my girls does my hair look okay, and they were like yea, your straight!" We eat and we leave. We arrive at the club, and there was a line. I said if the Mexican restaurant didn't get me, this humidity is. I thought "Lord, spare me!" He allowed the line to move smoothly. I "said thank you lord! " BUT as soon as I hit the door.... i said as SOOON as I hit the door, I knew at that very moment that it was over for my homemade press!
When I tell you if felt like we had just entered hell, it did. I really wanted to cry now. Every five minutes I asked my friends, "is my hair okay.... no seriously is it okay?" They said "It's fine!" One of them had the nerve to say "It looks like its getting smaller!" Well luckily, the party was LAME bc it was severely over populated, and we left before 1am. On the way out of the club it was well lit and I kept running into people I knew and they all kept looking at me like I had something on my face but they didn't want to tell me. Shortly after passing through a plethora of future baby daddy's, I had the good fortune to pass by a mirror! I stood there in shock. I literally looked like I had been ELECTROCUTED! I looked like i had been as the commercial goes " fried, dyed, and blowdried...been through years of wear and tear. Ooh GIRL WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR HAIR?!?!?" I said OMG, get me out of here! I was so embarrassed, I actually thought about getting a perm. ha!
Everyday isnt going to be easy. I might have looked a mess last night with my natural, but I can remember PLENTY of days of looking a mess with my perm. However, one thing is for sure. straight hair is a big NO-NO for the club!
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Sleep Deprivation at its best. hahah
I am convinced I have a sleeping disorder. LOL! For the past 5 years of my life, I have been surviving on 3-5 hours a night in the name of education. Realizing that I am often sleepy in class, I decided to record myself. Odd.. I know! But I wanted to see what the professor saw IF i sat in the front of the class=] I usually can hold it together, but not this day. This was the culmination of full week of no sleep... at tops I had slept about 5 hours up until thursday... the day my brief was due.....All I know is, I have GOT to figure something else out!
Monday, August 3, 2009
Adult Playtime=]
Don't be mislead by the title. This is 100% PG-13... maybe even G. lol
Today, as I was perusing Fred's Dollar Store, I had a magnificent epiphany;] As I walked down the toy isle, I thought... " The world just might be a better place if adults had playtime!" I think it would be very therapeutic to mold a teddy bear out of clay or swim in the balls at Chucky Cheese. Think of all the stress that you could release....
I thought about buying some modeling clay while I was there... but then I remembered we are in a recession.
10 months= Chop!
About 10 months ago, I decided to stop relaxing my hair. People ask me why am I doing "this" to myself. I think the more appropiate question is why did I stop doing "that" to myself. I decided to stop relaxing my hair because I have never been to keen on relaxers. My scalp doesnt seem to like them. Secondly, and most importantly, I want to experience the gift that God has given me. I feel like many of the natural blessings he has given us, we take for granted. What would the world be like if you could not see, or feel, or touch, or taste? Hair is a blessing. I believe that everything that God gave me is what he intended me to have. In my eyes, regardless of what the world sees, it is mighty beautiful to me=]
This is a picture I took after I went to get the rest of my perm cut off on August 2, 2009.
At your Wits' End? Look WithIN!
Each morning brings pain.
Dont think you can live again?!
What is this thing called rebirth,
when even your ashes have been burnt?
Daily problems taller than towers
tears flow like April Showers...
but even amongst the weeds
can grow a beautiful flower....
You are that mythical bird.
You rise out of the dirt.
Wings a little tattered.
But to the Wind,
that doesn't matter!
If only you looked up...
If only you looked in...
The glass globe would shatter
And you'd find yourself within.
Dont think you can live again?!
What is this thing called rebirth,
when even your ashes have been burnt?
Daily problems taller than towers
tears flow like April Showers...
but even amongst the weeds
can grow a beautiful flower....
You are that mythical bird.
You rise out of the dirt.
Wings a little tattered.
But to the Wind,
that doesn't matter!
If only you looked up...
If only you looked in...
The glass globe would shatter
And you'd find yourself within.
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